I enjoy seeing her smile at me…Of course I did! After nine years of having her scowl at me, why wouldn’t I enjoy seeing that change?! But that wasn’t the only reason I liked seeing it. I thought back to when she’d mentioned going out to dinner and that knot in my stomach.
What the hell am I thinking?! I asked myself and sat down hard on the edge of the bed. She was the same woman who had acted like I was the scum of the earth, who was Coach’s daughter…I didn’t even want to think about what would happen if I did something that could damage our relationship.
I sighed as I leaned forward and rested my chin on my hands as my thoughts went round and round in my head. I’m attracted to her, she’s not repulsed by me now, she doesn’t call me Trevor anymore, she sometimes smiles at me, and I enjoy making her smile…
But I wasn’t sure what to do about all that because there was one big question that I didn’t know the answer to: Could I have a relationship, with Pam or anyone else so soon after getting out of rehab.